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And now the NOT news from the BBC

Been a lot of conjecture of late regarding the Beeb and its purposes and motives.

There are no mysteries in this, it has simply become a shabby PR outlet for the current Government. This has many consequences, some of which I will delve into later.


It has occurred to me that one could make a very good news bulletin out of the stuff they completely omit, let alone the stuff they distort heavily to suit their new masters.

In fairness it has to be pointed out that in many respects they have a gun to their heads. The Govt could easily crush it if it fell out of line. This however is no excuse for the sheer delight the likes of Marr and Paxman derive from relentlessly putting an unfair boot into the left or anyone with left leanings. Also, it is not acceptable that they are in a position where they cannot be got at. Me, you and everyone else HAS to pay for this garbage. It is my opinion that they have broken the contract we all hold with them, that being that they should be a non biased news reporting organisation and nothing less.

When the Beeb meant something

They did used to able to claim that they were infact just that, back in the days when Frank Bough smoked dope and wore the old jumpers that Val Doonican had left behind, and Selina Scott sent me off to school in a very confusing daze.


So, here is the NOT news from the BBC.


It as been announced today by Amber Rudd that the cuts to Police numbers on the streets of the UK have had no effect whatsoever on the rising crime that has blighted some poor Labour voting areas of the UK. Actually, when you scrutinise the figures it is obvious that forces who have lost the highest amounts of cash are showing that crime has fallen. Rudd is very definitely on the case and is often seen touring leafy areas of the South to make the point. The IFS did contact us about this but we see no point in fogging the good news with any of that. The Govt once again reassured the nation by quoting the massive increases in cash for security services in London.

In other news our glorious leader has just completed a tour of the UK, meeting many thousands of UK residents of all races colours and creeds. We are pleased to say that she held many impromptu question sessions with the press and media, the highlight being held in a cow barn somewhere in Scotland. As you can see the Bovines allowed to be present enjoyed the whole thing immensely. One visit to a council estate in Durham locals came out to shower the PM with small gifts and thank her for her continued support and allowing them to keep the local Sure Start centre. The locals were keen to state that they had been looking forward to this visit since it was announced 45 minutes before she arrived.

Meeting the people

In Salisbury it has been confirmed that the deadly military grade nerve agent used to not kill the Skripals was categorically left on the handles of the car they used, introduced into the car via the air vents, sprinkled on the food they were eating and very definitely spread on the front door of their house. It has also been revealed that Mr Jeremy Corbyn immediately sided with Russia by insisting that definite proof be provided to link the attack with The Russian Bear. The PM has rightly pointed out that this is typical of the leader of the opposition and he is also a terrorist sympathiser. A Tory MP Mr Ben Wallace has stressed that this military grade nerve agent could have killed half of Salisbury. We have categorically received no reports that Yulia Skripal is up and about and wanting to see her cousin. We can confirm that the Govt has refused to allow the cousin to visit the gravely ill Yulia for security reasons. More on this as we are fed it by the Govt.

Makes me so very proud


In other domestic news we can inform you that Angela Rayner has stood up in the House and blatantly smeared the Govt by stating, on record, that some poor children will lose out on free school meals in the upcoming and much needed cuts to benefits. Rayner has been accused of "scaremongering" and "misleading the house". One Tory source told us that this just about sums up the "party of protest".

We have been contacted by the IFS but again we see no real value in hampering the Govt in its quest to balance the economy. The Govt told us that more children will see their "nutrition invested in" by her party.


The BBC can happily deny that in a recent edition of Newsnight they "Photoshopped" a Russian type hat onto Mr Corbyn. They actually used "LightRoom". This was done to lend authenticity to the obvious portrayal of him as a Russian agent, Czech Spy, Hezbollah recruiter and Anti Semitic schemer. The BBC has received one or two complaints about this, and would like to stress that we in no way agree with any of the accusations Mr Corbyn and his party of protest are currently beleaguered with. To support this on Newsnight later the theme will be the media projection of Mr Corbyn, we have an expert panel on the show made up of Maureen Lipman, Lord Sugar and Paul Dacre. It is on at 11-30 pm.

Any angle to get at Mr Corbyn


In closing tonight we bring you footage of Mrs May being rapturously welcomed in Salisbury. We are assured that Ben Wallace had mapped out which half of the sleepy town Mrs May was safe to visit, as you can see she was extremely pleased to take the bouquets and fist bumps.


So, goodnight from us at BBC News HQ.


Thing with all of that is it is actually a way of planting seeds in the minds of millions of people. How the hell are the young and impressionable supposed to form a balanced view of UK politics when set to this awful and ridiculous backdrop? This, for me, is the real danger to society that the BBC has become, this is the real sin they practice every single day. This is where they break the contract they hold with us, the major stakeholders. It would be good to end on a positive note, however I see no way to do that. The BBC is now GONE,


I object to it being illegal not to fund it. Bring it down, Smash it.





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© 2020 Bill Stewardson